Aug. 17th, 2025 10:32 am
The Interview
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mallorys_cameraBack from Ithaca.
I liked Justine, Nelson, Joannah, & Caitlyn—the residents of the co-op house.
And they liked me!
In fact, the three women and I had a pretty remarkable conversation, sitting out on the back porch overlooking the beautiful flower garden (wild flowers, echinacea and black-eyed Susans), sipping lemon water. We talked about conflict resolution and it evolved into a discussion of a highly toxic situation Joannah has been involved with at her chiropractic school where a horrible instructor had taken an extreme dislike to her and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it except stay calm & resolute & stay the course.
Of the three women, I liked Justine, the Cornell professor, best because she, too, has the Bread & Puppets Why Cheap Art Manifesto hanging in her bedroom:
But Joannah has this absolutely seraphic quality that I can't recall ever coming across before. If there are angels who occasionally have business dealings on earth, honestly, they'd manifest like Joannah.
She also has a rare blood cancer that requires monthly interferon infusions on a monthly basis. She walks with death. Literally. Maybe that accounts for her otherworldliness.
"I have a hard time with conflicts," I said. And explained that usually I let conflicts build until they reach some kind of critical mass & I can explode in anger.
"But I'm working on it," I added.
They were all very bemused by this. Why? they wanted to know. Was it because I was afraid people would stop liking me? Was it because I thought what was upsetting me was too ridiculous?
No, I said. It was because I thought the people who were upsetting me wouldn't care that they were upsetting me, that either they would laugh at me, or I would be invisible. Anger gave me the ballistic force to make sure I'd be taken seriously and that I'd be seen.
"Ah, childhood traumas," Joannah said gravely & gently.
###
At the end of the conversation—it went on for an hour and a half—Joannah said, "It's sort of like the future me is looking at the four of us and saying, Yes, we belong together."
And we embraced.
BUT there is a sticking point, and this is it: Nelson is somewhat allergic to cats.
I told him there is an anti-allergenic cat food that is quite successful. RTT, who is allergic to cats, uses it with the kitten he adopted a month ago and reports he is now completely asymptomatic:
And if that didn't work, I'd rehome the kiskas.
"I'll think about it," Nelson told me with a sweet smile.
And I believe he will.
###
Molly & Mabel, though, would actually be very difficult to rehome.
They are such mistrustful kiskas! They hiss at strangers! Not because they are aggressive, but because they scare so easily.
It's obvious they love me in their idiocyncratic kiska way, but occasionally, they will still hiss at me. They must have been abused or otherwise traumatized as young cats.
I'm fond of them.
I certainly don't love them the way I loved Sybyl or Rutger.
But I feel very strongly that the Universe assigned me to be their Protector, and it's a covenant I can't voluntarily break.
So!
What will be will be.
("But you did say you would rehome them if it doesn't work," said Joannah frowning slightly. I think she will advocate on my behalf.)
###
There's a lot more to write about, including the immensely beautiful Airbnb I stayed in and the absolute panic attack I worked my way into on the drive up to Ithaca.
I texted the BoyZ: House interview is tomorrow morning & I am having an anxiety attack a la “I’m such a loser, so who would want to live with ME?” Hopefully my self-esteem returns by tomorrow—
—and the two BoyZ offered reassurance in typically characteristic ways:
Ichabod: Don’t worry about being a loser. I think if this person was going to think you were a loser, they would already and you wouldn’t be going to visit. Also if she thinks you’re a loser it’s not where you want to live anyway so better get that out of the way.
RTT: Don’t be a pussy mom. You got this big dawg. You’re gonna come in there and impress her so much she questions whether SHE belongs there
But I have a huge amount to accomplish today and have already wasted too much time writing.
I liked Justine, Nelson, Joannah, & Caitlyn—the residents of the co-op house.
And they liked me!
In fact, the three women and I had a pretty remarkable conversation, sitting out on the back porch overlooking the beautiful flower garden (wild flowers, echinacea and black-eyed Susans), sipping lemon water. We talked about conflict resolution and it evolved into a discussion of a highly toxic situation Joannah has been involved with at her chiropractic school where a horrible instructor had taken an extreme dislike to her and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it except stay calm & resolute & stay the course.
Of the three women, I liked Justine, the Cornell professor, best because she, too, has the Bread & Puppets Why Cheap Art Manifesto hanging in her bedroom:
But Joannah has this absolutely seraphic quality that I can't recall ever coming across before. If there are angels who occasionally have business dealings on earth, honestly, they'd manifest like Joannah.
She also has a rare blood cancer that requires monthly interferon infusions on a monthly basis. She walks with death. Literally. Maybe that accounts for her otherworldliness.
"I have a hard time with conflicts," I said. And explained that usually I let conflicts build until they reach some kind of critical mass & I can explode in anger.
"But I'm working on it," I added.
They were all very bemused by this. Why? they wanted to know. Was it because I was afraid people would stop liking me? Was it because I thought what was upsetting me was too ridiculous?
No, I said. It was because I thought the people who were upsetting me wouldn't care that they were upsetting me, that either they would laugh at me, or I would be invisible. Anger gave me the ballistic force to make sure I'd be taken seriously and that I'd be seen.
"Ah, childhood traumas," Joannah said gravely & gently.
###
At the end of the conversation—it went on for an hour and a half—Joannah said, "It's sort of like the future me is looking at the four of us and saying, Yes, we belong together."
And we embraced.
BUT there is a sticking point, and this is it: Nelson is somewhat allergic to cats.
I told him there is an anti-allergenic cat food that is quite successful. RTT, who is allergic to cats, uses it with the kitten he adopted a month ago and reports he is now completely asymptomatic:
And if that didn't work, I'd rehome the kiskas.
"I'll think about it," Nelson told me with a sweet smile.
And I believe he will.
###
Molly & Mabel, though, would actually be very difficult to rehome.
They are such mistrustful kiskas! They hiss at strangers! Not because they are aggressive, but because they scare so easily.
It's obvious they love me in their idiocyncratic kiska way, but occasionally, they will still hiss at me. They must have been abused or otherwise traumatized as young cats.
I'm fond of them.
I certainly don't love them the way I loved Sybyl or Rutger.
But I feel very strongly that the Universe assigned me to be their Protector, and it's a covenant I can't voluntarily break.
So!
What will be will be.
("But you did say you would rehome them if it doesn't work," said Joannah frowning slightly. I think she will advocate on my behalf.)
###
There's a lot more to write about, including the immensely beautiful Airbnb I stayed in and the absolute panic attack I worked my way into on the drive up to Ithaca.
I texted the BoyZ: House interview is tomorrow morning & I am having an anxiety attack a la “I’m such a loser, so who would want to live with ME?” Hopefully my self-esteem returns by tomorrow—
—and the two BoyZ offered reassurance in typically characteristic ways:
Ichabod: Don’t worry about being a loser. I think if this person was going to think you were a loser, they would already and you wouldn’t be going to visit. Also if she thinks you’re a loser it’s not where you want to live anyway so better get that out of the way.
RTT: Don’t be a pussy mom. You got this big dawg. You’re gonna come in there and impress her so much she questions whether SHE belongs there
But I have a huge amount to accomplish today and have already wasted too much time writing.
